Get it OUT!!

I've noticed that I dwell on the past a lot.

I can't seem to get it out of my head.

The other day I cleaned out my room that reminded me of everything unpleasant.

Like I had a painting I had been working on for a very long time. I cut it up then burned it to ashes.

My dad told me " don't punish yourself over this" but I couldn't face it.

When you do something for a reason...and Then he reason breaks your heart you want to forget it all.

Songs colors smells. They will all trigger a memory. And then I find myself just blinking getting that same of feeling. You know the one that feels like someone has taken a knife and stabs it in your chest???

Yeah that one.

Words...mean...words...always seem to ring in my mind. " she's perfect, with the perfect body. Hey fat kid. You use to be so skinny what happened? Its because your not skinny any more." Recovery you ruined me.

Sometimes I wonder if I didn't give up. Would have everything fallen into place. Those sweets words not hurting me???

I wish. I could. Just. Forget. And be the perfect old me.

Don't use me ill use you!!!!!

SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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