Monday, December 12, 2011

Lemonade fast



Hey guys so I know I've been hella busy.

I just wanted to share with you that im starting back on a lemonade fast. Trying to loose a few pounds before Xmas hits cuz I know ill half to eat around the family.

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Long time



Well haven't been around for a long time. But work has been keeping me busy but my weight has crept up a bit.

But thru work I made a good friend who had Ana issues in the past. So me and her are buddying up to loose weight together..

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Monday, September 26, 2011

Damn


So hey folks

Life sucks right now. Gained like ten pounds. Damn doctors gave me this thing that makes me hungry and binge like what the hell.

But im gonna toss them as soon as my parents forget that im suppose to take them every few hours

Then of course the dramas in my life.

Ughh sometimes I wish it was a perfect candy land world but its not ugghh

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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Not happening



Soo. Ever sense I gotten my job my life has taken a tumble. Not really into my guy anymore but I still love him which keeps me confused. My job isn't the fairy-tale I wanted it to be. Finance in my household has taken a dive which means me ever getting out of here will take longer. I haven't been eating but it just depends my stress level is so high right now that....everything is staying right where I'm at. The only thing I feel that loves me right now is my cat. Everything changed. And I'm out of cigarettes nice. Ha can I stay strong with odds like this????????.

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Monday, August 15, 2011

Sore feet



My feet are killing me seriously lost a few pounds. Just gotta keep up.

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Thursday, August 11, 2011

I hate love



Need I say more?

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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Whoa



So I lost three pounds in one day. Kinda weirded out trying not to feel to over powered and keep my mind more focussed I guess.

I'm a little on the down low me and my fiance are taking a break which kinda hurts cuz he said I did nothing wrong but....yet anywho.

So whats up?

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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Well



Work was nice last night still trying to get familiar with the building. But being that there's a starbucks to crave my addiction no way in hell am I moving away from this job. Its awful I'm so addicted.

But at least with work it will be easier for me to fast and so forth.

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Monday, August 8, 2011

Whoo



Well well well being that I've binged the worst I ever had I'm just gonna ecnore the scale for a bit.

But I wanted to share with you all my new obssssssssive lipstick color by MAC

Its called....MORANGE Its a amplified color and its amazing

Its a coral orange very out going perfect for summer. C: I think any skin tone could pull it off I wuvs it.



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Sunday, August 7, 2011

Busyy



Ugh I got the job and started my period so I'm like fat and gross right now.

I was doing good only coffee every day but I was retaining water like crazy three pounds worth God it kills me.

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Monday, August 1, 2011

So he leaves



So my hunny got his orders to leave for Iraq on Oct.13 I'm trying to be cool about it I might not be able to see him for nearly a year. But I can handle it.....hopefully.

Still struggling to get a job and having a even harder time with my weight.

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Friday, July 29, 2011

I envy this pic



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Monday, July 25, 2011

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr



Sorry I haven't been around in a long time. I know most of you must be like yes! SOFTY IS FINALLY SHUTTING UP! just kidding.

But anywho been super busy. Trying to look for a job and solve the mistery as to why I'm not loosing but still fasting.

Well xoxoxoxo

Ill try to keep y'all updated.

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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Fatty



I haven't really lost anything I've hit like a major wall. I'm stuck and its pissing me off so freaking much. -.-

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Saturday, July 23, 2011

Food.



So I went to my g'mas today had a little lunch not a lot but enough to make me feel like a fatty v.v

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Thursday, July 21, 2011

I wish



I wish my damned period would go away so id be able to drop the weight faster. But like that's gonna happen any time soon.

But my fast has been going well.

I've still been using the bio oil and the results are starting to show. So I'm gonna keep it up see what happens

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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

P.m.s.ing



And its going rough for me. I didn't eat a Damn thing for two days and I'm still the same weight. Its awful.

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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Binged



Well I Totally binged last night like a lot. It was weird me and my mom had a girls night out at a hotel so I guess it wasn't that weird haha

But back to fasting my goal ten pounds in ten days hopefully there will be no more girl bondings that require sandwitches and junk food.

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Thursday, July 14, 2011

Jealous



 Watch "Scene Queen Video #23 Jennifer Genuine" on YouTube 

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Got my belly pierced.



Well yesterday I decided to go get my belly pierced. Other then the fact my tummy was fat and I have gross stretchmarks on it I did it anyway.

It really didn't hurt. Personally I've stubbed my toe and that hurts a hell of a lot more then getting my belly pierced. Plus I had snakebites twice before so needles don't scare me.

The guys were nice cute and I flipped one off playfully cuz he made fun of my nail polish and white feet hahahaha. But they gave me a discount and they were just really cool.

So other then that I gained another pound. Yesterday but I've Totally decided to go back onto my starving fasting thing all over again. Gotta have a reason to shoe off my belly haha

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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Fucking



gained so much. Oink oink oink piggy piggy piggy

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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Sleepover



Well I'm going to my aunts house for a sleep over and we already ate a sandwitch and had some ice cream I have a feeling that were gonna be eating a whole lot more. I'm hoping we can get drunk and party or something.

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Monday, July 11, 2011

Finally



I couldn't stand looking so normal I felt so uncomfortable. So I shaved my eyebrows off. I just blah they didn't look right to me haha

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My fave song in the whole wide world!



 Watch "In This Moment-World In Flames(with lyrics)" on YouTube 

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Please be me!!!



 Watch "NEW BEFORE and AFTER THINSPO! :)" on YouTube 

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Sunday, July 10, 2011

Find motivation



 Watch "Thinspiration: Before - After" on YouTube 

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Try



Well I'm having a awful time. I think I'm going to try and water fast or something Shit.

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Coffee



Oookayyyy all I had was some coffee and ill admit a slice of tomato which was yummy and refreshing cuz its hot as hell here in paradise.

Okay soooo I dyed my hair black and I look like my normal self again but I think I want to get rid of my eyebrows cuz I hate my eyebrows haha

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Friday, July 8, 2011

Binge? Or retain?



Have anyone ever gone thru a binge state but not really a binge state more like retaining of liquids but your starving and gaining....Shit if anyone can understand what I just rambled about...then Yay!!!

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Thursday, July 7, 2011

Relate



 Watch "Christina Aguilera - Reflection" on YouTube 

I think we all can relate to this song.

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Cut my hair



YAY IM SO HAPPY I LOOK LIKE MY EMO SELF AGAIN. I CUT MY HAIR AND ITS STILL BROWN BUT I DECIDED ILL DYE IT BLACK. IN A FEW MONTHS I REALLY WANT TO REST MY HAIR FROM CHEMICALS IS ALL FOR AWHILE

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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Heat flashes



Okay very strange but all last night I was getting heat flashes and it was really cold last night blahh

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Monday, July 4, 2011

4th of July



Whoot I gotta admit one of my fave days out of the year. Independence Day!!! Let the fireworks begin!!!

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Sunday, July 3, 2011

Wow



Well my birthday was okay. Only a handful of people remembered it. Ate like a pig gained seven pounds but now that its over I got everything out of my system time to get on track. I got a few cool things. I was quite bummed how exspensive everything got. Like I blew nearly 350$ on. Two shirts two shorts and some eye shadow and lip gloss. I was like wow and everything was on sale. I thought id get more out of my money but guess not.

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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Im 18!!!



(June 30)Well nothing special really happened felt like another day except I ate and tomorrow were gonna throw a little dinner party for me which means more food. Shit.

Well all in all it was okay. I mean I'm still alive and got to work off that ice cream geeshhhh.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Okayy



Well my dad came home yesterday shortly after I posted that blog. He told me that he was sorry he failed me. I really didn't know how to comfort him because that is how I felt.

Well my birthday is coming up soon I think its pretty much been ruined. So yeah. Where going food shopping today to pick up whatever for my birthday dinner so yeah. Lets get fat!

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Monday, June 27, 2011

Fights



I can't stop fighting with my dad. And today we had a fight and he left the house. He didn't take his cell phone and didn't tell me where hes going. I'm worried. But I'm trying not to worry. He has been gone for over a hour now...

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Getting closer.



The closer I get the closer I'm not sure if I'm excited about my birthday blah.

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Sunday, June 26, 2011

Lost another pound.



Well my birthday is coming up on Thursday. Not sure if I'm as excited about it as I was a few weeks ago considering what has happened to spoil it this week. But its only typical I must be pure bad luck.

Shit happens to everyone but to much Shit happens to me. Blah.

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Saturday, June 25, 2011

Therapy



Well had a anxiety attack my mom took me to the doctors and the doctor wanted me to go to therapy. For depression o.c.d. and perfectionist.

And they hooked me up to the heart meter and so forth.

But when they were doing it they kept commenting on my stretchmarks. They were like "for a thin girl you have a lot of stretchmarks" I just wanted to die..

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Bio oil



Well I just got a little bottle of bio oil. I got it at wallgreens and its pretty exspensive here cuz taxes are higher and we get all our stuff shipper here so it cost me about 14.00$ plus tax for a kinda tiny bottle. I'm sure its cheeper on the mainland.

But I'm gonna give it a try I hear amazing stories about bio-oil so yeah. I'm gonna try it for about three weeks I use it twice a day. So after three weeks ill let you guys know if its worth it or not. :))

I hope it makes the stretchmarks go away.

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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Lancome Bright Expert



Here's just something I've been using on my face now for nearly a month. Its a brightening syrum for your skin helps brighten red spots and sun damage like freakles. So far I have seen results. My skin is a light/medium creamy colour. Its been turning a yellowish colour do to my lack of vitamins but this really helps perk it up for me. You put it on once in the morning and once before you go to bed. I find it works well when you scrub your face before with a pore cleanser that has micro beads in it. It really allows the product to sink in. I bought the smaller tube. It comes in this dark blue tube. It was about....50-66$ dollars. Good investment. Works so long as you stay faithful to it.

1-10 rating I give it about 8 1/2 . Its really nice. Its like a white creamy liquid.

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Down three pounds



Drastically down three pounds but still need to be down more. That's jet how it is. I got 8 days left till my birthday.

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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Great skin



Okay ever we sense I had gainer weight my skin has a million times more stretchmarks and its all over my tummy by my belly button. I've tried a lot of things to get rid of them. Does anyone have anyone have any secrets to getting rid of them??

XOxoxox

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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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Wait no!!!



All I had was liquids yesterday and I gained a pound -.-

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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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Restricting



Yeah so I figured that I need to restrict my liquid intake. So I decided for today just one cup of coffee will half to do. I'm thinking its about 200 calories considering I put a lot of creamer in it. So yeah. I'm gonna stretch that for today. I might have some of my diet tea.

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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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Monday, June 20, 2011

In between



Lately I've just been feeling really in-between. Not so happy not so sad. Less determined but still wanting to be better. Gosh I hate it. Its like I'm just sitting here waiting for it to happen but blah.

SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!

Give me beauty



Well started my fast yesterday I'm down one pound. But that still means three pounds of the original I gained I half to loose. So at least I'm starting somewhere.

SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
SKINNY§BONES§JONES
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I hate you Rachel Smith!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

A big chunk



Of my hair fell out just now and I am freaking the hell out. My hair at the begginning was thin when I was at my thinnest of 85 pounds then as I gained weight my has had gotten thicker. My hair really has never fallen out in big chunks until like....today. so I'm freaking. Not just because of my hair falling out but because I'm no where near my goal weight and its falling out.

So I decided adding a can of V-8 juice to my fasting which I need to start up again

SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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Fatty.



Just can't stop eating gosh

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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Smoke time.



Depressed depressed depressed. Coffee and a pack of smokes. Ugh I hate myself

SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!