(June 30)Well nothing special really happened felt like another day except I ate and tomorrow were gonna throw a little dinner party for me which means more food. Shit.Well all in all it was okay. I mean I'm still alive and got to work off that ice cream geeshhhh.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well my dad came home yesterday shortly after I posted that blog. He told me that he was sorry he failed me. I really didn't know how to comfort him because that is how I felt.Well my birthday is coming up soon I think its pretty much been ruined. So yeah. Where going food shopping today to pick up whatever for my birthday dinner so yeah. Lets get fat!SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
I can't stop fighting with my dad. And today we had a fight and he left the house. He didn't take his cell phone and didn't tell me where hes going. I'm worried. But I'm trying not to worry. He has been gone for over a hour now...SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
The closer I get the closer I'm not sure if I'm excited about my birthday blah.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well my birthday is coming up on Thursday. Not sure if I'm as excited about it as I was a few weeks ago considering what has happened to spoil it this week. But its only typical I must be pure bad luck. Shit happens to everyone but to much Shit happens to me. Blah. SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well had a anxiety attack my mom took me to the doctors and the doctor wanted me to go to therapy. For depression o.c.d. and perfectionist. And they hooked me up to the heart meter and so forth. But when they were doing it they kept commenting on my stretchmarks. They were like "for a thin girl you have a lot of stretchmarks" I just wanted to die.. SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well I just got a little bottle of bio oil. I got it at wallgreens and its pretty exspensive here cuz taxes are higher and we get all our stuff shipper here so it cost me about 14.00$ plus tax for a kinda tiny bottle. I'm sure its cheeper on the mainland. But I'm gonna give it a try I hear amazing stories about bio-oil so yeah. I'm gonna try it for about three weeks I use it twice a day. So after three weeks ill let you guys know if its worth it or not. :)) I hope it makes the stretchmarks go away. SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Here's just something I've been using on my face now for nearly a month. Its a brightening syrum for your skin helps brighten red spots and sun damage like freakles. So far I have seen results. My skin is a light/medium creamy colour. Its been turning a yellowish colour do to my lack of vitamins but this really helps perk it up for me. You put it on once in the morning and once before you go to bed. I find it works well when you scrub your face before with a pore cleanser that has micro beads in it. It really allows the product to sink in. I bought the smaller tube. It comes in this dark blue tube. It was about....50-66$ dollars. Good investment. Works so long as you stay faithful to it. 1-10 rating I give it about 8 1/2 . Its really nice. Its like a white creamy liquid. SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Drastically down three pounds but still need to be down more. That's jet how it is. I got 8 days left till my birthday. SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Okay ever we sense I had gainer weight my skin has a million times more stretchmarks and its all over my tummy by my belly button. I've tried a lot of things to get rid of them. Does anyone have anyone have any secrets to getting rid of them??XOxoxoxSoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
All I had was liquids yesterday and I gained a pound -.- SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Yeah so I figured that I need to restrict my liquid intake. So I decided for today just one cup of coffee will half to do. I'm thinking its about 200 calories considering I put a lot of creamer in it. So yeah. I'm gonna stretch that for today. I might have some of my diet tea.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Lately I've just been feeling really in-between. Not so happy not so sad. Less determined but still wanting to be better. Gosh I hate it. Its like I'm just sitting here waiting for it to happen but blah.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well started my fast yesterday I'm down one pound. But that still means three pounds of the original I gained I half to loose. So at least I'm starting somewhere. SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Of my hair fell out just now and I am freaking the hell out. My hair at the begginning was thin when I was at my thinnest of 85 pounds then as I gained weight my has had gotten thicker. My hair really has never fallen out in big chunks until like....today. so I'm freaking. Not just because of my hair falling out but because I'm no where near my goal weight and its falling out.So I decided adding a can of V-8 juice to my fasting which I need to start up again SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Just can't stop eating goshSoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Depressed depressed depressed. Coffee and a pack of smokes. Ugh I hate myself SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Okay I just figured out I can't rely on people for a Shit. I knew there was a reason why I stopped getting excited about things. Blah god So I'm kinda in a depressed mood. I get like this on my birthday and the closer I get to my birthday. Which is kind of sad.But I tried to sleep it off really didn't work. Talked with the fiance laughed and just talked about stupid stuff which helped a bit but now I'm going back down that drain. Again. And gaining those three pounds didn't help me much as well. But idk. I think its mostly because my interview the boss lady told me that I was gonna hopefully get a fall for a second interview yesterday and well no call so my anxiety drama is coming onto me and I was really really hoping that I would get this job like really.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
So I kinda sorta lost count on how many days I have left Lol but yeah. Oh well I know how much I need to loose so I guess that's all that matters.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Okay so I gained four pounds. Purged yesterdays and I'm all nervous about my job interview so I'm eating again and my period is just kicking me in the ass!!! Blah But what can yeah do. Blah.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Watch "thinspo 4 - where is my mind" on YouTube SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Ooh la la getting closer not so sure if I'm gonna make my goal. Didn't get the chance to weigh myself which sucks big time but it also might be a good thing blah.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well I started my lady time of the month. Omg. Chocolate, biscotti, sausage horrible day. Bloated as Shit. Not to good when you have a dentist appointment tomorrow and I need to go and try on clothes later for my interview and I know I'm at least two sizes bloated. Grrr! !!!!But I guess that gives me a reason to buy everything a size smaller Lol. And did I say shoes?? I love shoes.But I noticed I'm starting to stray away from my little scene look. I don't want to but if I want a good job ill half to make some sacrifices. Boo me. SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Don't you hate it when people copy you?SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Omg!!! I got a job interview on mondayyy I'm so excited!!!SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well never used the bathroom so much in my life in one day. Geesh I hope I get something good out of it.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
And I took out my snakebites I'm so sad that I did but it had to be done for the health of a not so good sore that happened from me biting my piercing and it was getting gross so instead of loosing my lip I decided to suffer for how ever long it takes and then go back get it done again when its all hunky dorySoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Omg!!! Not what I needed today. Especially at this early in the morning. Okay so like at 12 a.m. my time I get a call. From who the last guy that broke my heart and made me feel like a low down dirty freaking dog!!!! And he starts talking about all this stuff and me and him being together. -.- well I think I got it thru his skull to basically go kiss my ass. I mean dude! He didn't ask if I was seeing anyone. He treated me like a Fucking who're freak and then out of the clear blue hes setting up my life with him. Um yeah not cool.Should I tell the finace? I'm not to sure. I'm thinking not because all he would do is freak out. And I'm thinking yes because I don't keep secrets from him and stuffs...and I love him so yeah idk. I don't want to cause a problem with a situation that's just been solved.But anyways 22 days left I can't sleep I've been up for 24hrs and when I did fall asleep a phone call woke me up only to give me high blood pressure a splitting head ache worse case of heart burn and a pissed off and kinda pity mood.But hopefully that's doesn't affect my day and the course of my weightloss. Geese I love the drama...Eh not really.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well I applied at another job. I really enjoy working. I noticed that if I'm not working I really have a screwed up time trying to fall asleep and Shit. Which bothers me a lot actually and I absolutely hate that. Plus I just like working for money. I really want to go to school so its hard for me to do that especially now that the cosmotology school on My island is closing. Which means ill half to go to a different school or the mainland. So I decided if I half to move to go to school I'm going to save up for the best school that I can get my hands on. And that does take money.but time and hard work it might pay off and I'm positive that if I do it right the first time it might benifit me later on down the road. =]]SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well I'm not to thrilled with the spray tan I tried blotchy not even and cracked on my skin. So I think I'm just gonna stick to the lotion type.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well anyway today I had eaten a tiny itty bitty coffee cupcake. I know that made it to my tummy.But what I did purge was half a sandwitch and a handfull of chips.I also got this dieters tea to help go with my fast. So when I remember ill grab the box and share the brand with you guys. The first time I took it it really made me use the bathroom at night.I took it around dinner time so yeah.And well other then my purging spree and my new scale not working I think I'm fucked :-) but I got a lot of days left. If I'm good then maybe ill have a really nice happy 18th birthday.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well anyway today I had eaten a tiny itty bitty coffee cupcake. I know that made it to my tummy.But what I did purge was half a sandwitch and a handfull of chips.I also got this dieters tea to help go with my fast. So when I remember ill grab the box and share the brand with you guys. The first time I took it it really made me use the bathroom at night.I took it around dinner time so yeah.And well other then my purging spree and my new scale not working I think I'm fucked :-) but I got a lot of days left. If I'm good then maybe ill have a really nice happy 18th birthday.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
My new scale I naught was purchased broken Geesh four different weigh ins all in one day. And all at the same time holy shizzzzIt really pisses me off and not only that it makes me forking nervous. >:0SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Okay ingredients for a....sensual night.Wet flavoured lube in strawberry kiwiA bottle of heavy whipping creamVictorias secret matching black bra and lace panties w/ matching garter beltHandcuffsAnd strawberry flavoured condomsOkay you guys must be wondering wtf I'm talking about but I did say id keep you all in kinky heaven.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Binged again danmit so I'm doing some exercise I purged a little bit but whateversSoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Okay guys I'm just doing.g a review on some self tanning stuff I use. I'm not doing this for any companies blah blah blah I just want to share what I use what I've tried ans how they work so forth.OkayPhysicians fomula sun sheild sunless tanning lotion SPF20. And it builds a tan. Its like a sunscreen it smells like a sunscreen and it goes on white then darkens you add more if you want to look darker.I find that this is a okay product. Its really liquidy and if your looking to get really dark the first time around its...not the best. But if you want to look like one shade darker and enjoy the smell of sunblock then this is for you. But I mist find it really messy.(I'm in-between light and a medium skin tone. But I stay in doors to bleach myself whiter cuz that's the look I use to go for now I'm darkening up)NextLoreal sublime bronze tinted self tanning lotion in deep natural tan.?I love it love it love it. Goes on dark stays dark and has little shimmers in it. Makes you really really glow. It has a soap like smell. Only thing is this will turn your hands the weirdest color on the planet but scrub hard enough for a few days and it will come off.But so far that's a winner for me its thick and it stays on really nice. But of course when it fades it makes you look a little strange.Today I'm trying a spray on tan I just put it on its by banana boat and well ill tell you guys all about it later so yeah. :))AND JUST A TIP IF YOU DO WANT TO SELF TAN. PLEASE WASH YOUR SKIN OF DIRT BECAUSE IF YOU DONT WASH IT GOOD YOU GO INTO THE SHOWER AND IT WILL JUST COME OFF AND LOOK GROSS ON YOUR SKIN. ALSO SHAVE!!!! ITS EASIER TO APPLY AND LOOKS RIGHT AND MORE SMOOTH IF YOU SHAVE THE RIGHT AREAS THAT NEED TO BE SHAVED Okay have fun tanning guys c:SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Well I gaineeld two pounds feels about right sad as he'll but I did it all on purpose so yeah can't cry about it I did it. But that's why I'm not gonna do it anymore. I feel bad. And the freaking nightmare I had didn't help my nerves at all last night. And yeah SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
So I totally binged and purged alot of it up. But I know for damned sure that I've gained and having no scale is freaking me the fork out!!!SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
And did I mention my scale just broke? ???? Oh yeah major anxiety attack right about now.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
Holy mother! Today is the first of June already. And I binged last night so I'm starting fresh today but hot Damn its June...SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
bitch Slap ne back to happiness
ýou ßaid ño pæin ño gâïn bût whãt dø ÿoü dò whéñ your gaíñiñg thè wrœñg thìñg•
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I hate you Rachel Smith!
