Thinn me please

 Watch "minimal-techno upbeat thinspo!!!:D" on YouTube 

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Gotta keep going

 Watch "Upbeat Thinspo - "Tik Tok" (Cover) by Woe, Is Me" on YouTube 

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More rant!

I'm still so fucking upset! I want to just choke the fat life out of her! She really motivated me to loose more weight so I don't look a thing like her reverse thinspo self Goddamnit!!!!!

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Fuck you bitch

Okay I'm gonna rant about that bitch that stole my pictures! And she turned out to be a childhood friend!!! God do you know how that hurt me!!! How I found out???? One of the guys she was conning turned out to be a coworkers friend and one day he was all like oh so you know blah blah. She used her name! ( I know I upload a lot of pics on photobucket and stuff Which I stopped because of this. Maybe it wouldn't hurt as much if like the chick didn't turn out to be a fucking friend!!!) And he was like I'm dating her! And I was fucking already engaged and underaged to my ex!!! So I was like WTF??!?!?!?!! and the only reason how I confirmed it was her was because she took a picture of me in her bedroom when I had my blue hair. There was this peice of paper on the wall that she moved into the background its her room so I didn't think anything of it. Until I found out it was a fucking fake ass proof sign on that fakeass MySpace that he picked up that fatty at.

Anywho to make a long story short. I have yet to confront her. But she knows That I know to a point...she invited me to her graduation in may....I was thinking about going and fucking up her face! Or better yet she wants to be me??? I'm gonna do myself a favor and get hella skinny and dress like a total skank!  Fucking bitch!

I'm just a little pissed cuz she said she got herself a bf and I'm just freaking she did the same thing and suckered this poor marine in. Personally she is the most miserable person I ever met. She was born with a frown on her face. I was always nice to her. She only talks to me when she wants something and now I want my revenge for everything! For the day she cut my hair and pushed me off the swing. Little Softy is gonna get her revenge!

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Forking shit

Well. I was suppose to starve myself today I ended up eating some chocolate I should have thrown it out or something. Blah fml!  I hate not being able to stay on track. I'm so gross ugh ugh

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Forking shit

Well. I was suppose to starve myself today I ended up eating some chocolate I should have thrown it out or something. Blah fml!  I hate not being able to stay on track. I'm so gross ugh ugh

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trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle

Binge

Fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty fat shit fat shit fat shit fat shit!!!!!! Oink oink oink oink oink oink! Fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck disgusting disgusting gross fat ass!!!!!!!! Just fucking gross and fat piggy piggy pigggy i should be beaten for beibg so weak and fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""""""""""fatttttttyyyyy fatttyyyy fatttttttyyyyyyyyy!!!!....................................................................................................in case you didn't notice I hinged and failed fuck

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Tired

My goodness I'm so tired. Im going to the gym today. At least get my moneys worth of something. And yesterday was okay. Didn't get the chance to weigh so I have no clue where I'm at but I hope its less

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Starve

I gonna starve myself today. No food no water. I use to do it successfully at a good ammount of time before. I'm to fat I half to keep going keep staying strong. I need to remind myself that there is something good that will come out of it. SELF WORTH and comfort and beauty

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So far the best

 Watch "Before and After - Thinspo" on YouTube 

So far to me this is the best before and after thinspo!!!

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Summer is near!!!

 Watch "REAL GIRL SUMMER THINSPO 3" on YouTube 

Its almost here and I'm still a fatass :(

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Pretty good quote

 Watch "®eal Girl Thinspo: Time of Dying & Quotes!!" on YouTube 

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I wish it was me

 Watch "Model Thinspo "Watching you burn"" on YouTube 

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Reverse

 Watch "Reverse Thinspo" on YouTube 

I need to give myself a reason not To binge!!!!

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trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle

Sad

I'm having a sad sad week. Starting my little gift for the month. Stressing cuz I don't have enough money to pay the phone bill and the bf is freaking mad about that. He thinks I'm avoiding but I'm not I just don't have money to pay my phone bill ;( pisses me off. But it actually makes me more sad.

I really feel like Crap. Going through that faze where I keep repeating "you don't deserve happiness your lazy gotta do more more more more." Even if I already know I do a lot I just feel like I'm not doing enough. Damn you taxes! Damn you tax Guy who misquoted me and was off by 3,000$ and still charging me extra asshole! That was your mistake! I saved up for what you originally quoted me jerk!

Okay I'm calm.

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trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle

Pic-nic

Damnit my mom wanted to go and have a pic-nic at the beach. I can smell what she's cooking all the way from my room OMG! I just want to die I hate it so much. I was doing so well. Yesterday I spent the day at the gym and I worked my ass off. Now today I'm just gonna half to focus I guess and stay stronger!

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trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle

Fight the hunger

Well I'm doing it again fighting my hunger battle. Ill have one bite of chocolate just to keep my tummy from making noise but thats all. Im still the same weight,and today is,day 4 I need to push myself more eat less feel less

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Gained a pound

Crap I'm Like all upset cuz I gained a pound how in the world I did that I dunno considering I ate less yesterday. BUT I did go on the machine thing at the gym the other day and I gained 9 pounds worth of muscle.....well at least I know where those nine pounds came from. I'm trying not to mind fuck myself cuz its...nine pounds.

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SKINNY§BONES§JONES
trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle

Get high

I'm planning on having a good time tomorrow its just that I don't know....how to not do it without binging and I'm kind of scared. Blah

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trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle

12 days 12 pounds

Well I decided to do a complete 12 day pound drop. My time is running out to look good for my birthday. And no way in hell am I going to feel like a fat fuck failure for my 18 birthday. So I decided for the next two weeks I will work my ass off at the gym and completely control what I'm eating if I eat. No carbs anymore. One pound everyday. I know I can do it................. BTW the chick in the pic is not our lovely killedhannah.

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A new week

Well well well. I don't know what to focus this week on. So maybe we shall look at the beautiful 'killedhannah'

SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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Teeth

So I have a dentist appointment on April 12. I'm trying to not think about how screwed up my teeth have been from purging. But its starting to get to me. I know I know kind of weird to have nightmares about mY teeth. But I have this odd fear of my teeth falling out. Oh gosh it just scares the shit out of me. I use to grind my teeth at night until finally I cracked a tooth. I was so upset that I ripped a tlbath towel in half and had a nervous brake down just because I cracked a tooth.

Right now I'm not so worried if my dentist is gonna figure out if I purge or not. I'm sure he has seen worse teeth. I just don't want my teeth falling out of my head. That would devistate me.

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Fatty

I'm such a fatty. Even eating a salad makes ne feel like blob. Why can't I pull myself together. And Like hell I'm craving fucking ice cream. I hate it I hate it so very much.

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trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle
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Blah

I hate this being fat. It makes me feel so miserable and mean. Like I just want to yell at everyone. Or cry till I'm sick. Fml

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I hate myself

I'm really going into one of those I hate myself I wish I'd die fazes. I hate it when my paranoia just doesn't make me want to sleep. And now I'm curious about mass drugs that could knock My ass out for Just a moment of peace.

SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle
place-the-glass-in-your-palm-and-realize-that-you-can-see-me

Fatass

I'm such a fatass I don't know I drank liquids and I just hate myself. I can't purge up what I did eat and I hate myself so I took a diet pill. Wtf is going on with my body? All I want is to feel good about myself why is it so hard?

SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle
place-the-glass-in-your-palm-and-realize-that-you-can-see-me

Splits

Oh gosh I finally got into the splits today I just hope ill be able to do it tomorrow

SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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So tired

My mind is starting to go off again. Only three hours of sleep last night. I hate it when it does this I really do.

Well I hope to get some coffee soon. And I did my stretches. I'm gonna try and go to the gym. I dont want to faint but I do.t want to waste my money either.

I hope I'm down some. I still feel like a fat ballerina scene girl fuck my life

And BTW this is not brookelle bones in the pic..

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I guess

Well I guess he's okay. I don't know. I'm okay starting a new chapter in my life....by purging up everything I drank. And trying to look even better for the new person in my life.

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Not yet

One of my friends might be dieing. He got trampled by a horse yesterday. I don't know what to do. He's so kind I can't imagine a world without him In it I can't see What my world would be like without him. He's just the kind of person that impacts your life and you just never think they will leave. Please love support and prayers.

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Off balance

Damn lately I've been feeling really off balance. Like right now. My eyes just keep going out of focus its really bothering me. I don't know if its the weather or something.

I had like a energy drink some coffee some vitamin water something to get me back on teach and focused but its not helping.

And I wanted to go to the gym but I don't think I will not feeling like I'm going to faint or walk into someone.

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Beautiful

 Watch "Ballet: A Beautiful Strength" on YouTube 

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I want your legs too!!!

 Watch "Pointe Shoes--Exercises for strengthening feet" on YouTube 

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I want your legs!!!

 Watch "Bloch Pointe shoes" on YouTube 

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Well

 Watch "Brookelle Mckenzie 2010 - 2011" on YouTube well I am so use to seeing brook as a teenage scene queen. Seemscso off to see her all grown up. And she looks like she lost more weight. I'm jealous!!

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Im scared

Last night kind of late I had some soup broth. I was Really kind of scared that Maybe I gained. But I do have the gym today and I'm gonna fast it. Energy drinks and coffee. So I'm excited to work my fat ass off I'm still a little disgusted at all I have gained. Fuck food. Pro Ana

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Another week

Well another week another scenespo. Well I decided that Because I love Brookelle Bones. This week will he all brook!!!!!!

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Fuck

Fucking hot dog I wanted to purge it up. But I was kinda at a park and no way in hell was I gonna get down in a portapotty. Ewh. With that blue shit splashing on my face. But ill try when I get home I'm scared that it will be to late tho.

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Soup

I half to learn to stop making good food. Cuz I made some really good veggie soup. Oh gosh I had two cup fulls and a protein shake on top of it. Tech that's just liquids but fuck!

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Tsunami in paradise

Well we had a tsunami here in Paradise. Well I'm Okay and so is my family we live more in the mountains.

But that's not What's bugging me.

What's bugging me is the fact I gave in and now I'm up a fucking pound. I'm such a fatass

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Okay

Well I'm gonna try and starve myself today. I need to get lower faster if not I'm not going to make it to dance class. I mean I also noticed that when I eat I get so off balance when I stretch and stuff I hate it. I feel retarded

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Okay

Well I'm gonna try and starve myself today. I need to get lower faster if not I'm not going to make it to dance class. I mean I also noticed that when I eat I get so off balance when I stretch and stuff I hate it. I feel retarded

SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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Starve

I'm not going to fast I'm going to starve myself for a few days. Can't handle it.

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So disturbed

I'm still upset about that damned nightmare. I can't get it out of my head fuck I want to cry or cut myself or something. I Just gosh I Just hate it!!!!.

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I want that

 Watch "Improve your flexibility - splits, over splits, arabesque, straddle, backbend" on YouTube 

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Fucking nightmares

I hate them. Expecially when there about your past. About something that hurt you so deeply like words and feelings. That's the worst kind of nightmare. That's the nightmare I fear. When you forget it for so long and then it creeps back....its the worst thing a person could go through.

Sticks and stones may break her bones but words might make her starve herself to death. And that what I feel like doing.

I'm not going to cry I'm not. But now I fear sleep.

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trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle
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Gyaru

Okay that is the word I was looking for to describe how hannie Dropkick was changing. Its pretty much this Japanese fashion trend kinda like emo scene but more...girlish . Ill post a pic. But it will not be hannie

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Another

Well today is another day for the gym. I'm gonna try and get my friend to sign up. So at least ill have someone to go with.  I ate a protein bar. I feel kinda bad and dizzy come to think about it but hopefully ill be able to work my fatass off.

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trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle
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Taxes

Oh shit. Seems like taxes this year is gonna leave me and my family out on the street. My dad is crippled I can't work do to the benifits that were suppose to get thru him. My mom is working. I'm so scared right now. I have been giving everything to my parents so we could live...and everything is not enough. We try so hard so very very hard to be just normal Americans. Were patriots my father was a marine we bled for This country both in blood and paitents and money and in faith. Yet now we just can't seem to live the American dream. Why? We pay our taxes we pay our bills now its coming back around to where we will have nothing Because everything is just getting out of hand. Even our own funerals would bankrupt us.

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Fast

So I'm gonna just do a liquid fast today maybe it will help me out some. Mostly my protein shakes and possibly some broth or something.

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trashyxlifextrampyxgirlxkinkyxstyle
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