Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Today

I have someone that I really like coming over to stay with me for a few days. And I'm panicking about my weight. I'm thinking....liquid diet for the remainder of like two days

I know he can eat si I'm just like ehhhhh.

I need my will power back man v.v

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Early morning

Well tired and tired at this point had a little trip to one of the other islands this weekend. And got home late last night.  It was nice lots of food. But nothing that I can't drop in a few days. Started my period as well so I feel a little extra crummy for sure. But hey it happens to the best of us.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Bitchez of Eastwick

So I did end up falling asleep around 3am last night   yay! Good job me!

Today I wanted a little change so I'm dying my hair back to black. My hair is no longer long but short actually. With the entire bottom half shaves. I'll post a recent pic of me it has been years sense you all saw me.  Of course I am dying my hair black right now so it won't be so currant

Almost 1 a.m.

Had really a rotten day today. Woke up at 11a.m. and managed to stay in bed starring at my phone till almost 1 p.m.

I was freaking out inside really.

Crying for no reason. Texting horrible things to my guy friends things that made no sense to them. Maybe I was trying to pick a fight. Or pick there brains make them think.

Scared to weigh myself. Scared to do a lot of things. But Aventually I did roll out of bed. Aventually that is.

I have to work tomorrow.....well today that is later on in the day. It's a struggle it really is juggling three jobs but hours being cut back at all of them so once a busy work week is now begging for hours that I need.

Work has become a salvation for me a place to allow myself to be successful and not think of the demons I battle with on a day to day basis.

I don't like having hours to sit in my room and just think and be bored. I want to fill my time.

The house is pretty quiet....cats sleeping on the chair dad's fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. No one's up really non of my friends are awake.

Sucks being alone at this time. I wish I had someone to cuddle with and feel safe. And on restless humid nights like this we could talk and whisper about things. Damned night has me day dreaming. My mind won't quit of such fairytale bullshit.

Almost 1 a.m.

Had really a rotten day today. Woke up at 11a.m. and managed to stay in bed starring at my phone till almost 1 p.m.

I was freaking out inside really.

Crying for no reason. Texting horrible things to my guy friends things that made no sense to them. Maybe I was trying to pick a fight. Or pick there brains make them think.

Scared to weigh myself. Scared to do a lot of things. But Aventually I did roll out of bed. Aventually that is.

I have to work tomorrow.....well today that is later on in the day. It's a struggle it really is juggling three jobs but hours being cut back at all of them so once a busy work week is now begging for hours that I need.

Work has become a salvation for me a place to allow myself to be successful and not think of the demons I battle with on a day to day basis.

I don't like having hours to sit in my room and just think and be bored. I want to fill my time.

The house is pretty quiet....cats sleeping on the chair dad's fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. No one's up really non of my friends are awake.

Sucks being alone at this time. I wish I had someone to cuddle with and feel safe. And on restless humid nights like this we could talk and whisper about things. Damned night has me day dreaming. My mind won't quit of such fairytale bullshit.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Long day

I can feel myself starting to roll back into a big obsession over my weight.

Weighing myself two three times in a row for sure that the number on the scale is wrong. It's broken......must be

Purge

My dammed demons.

I did eat a salad
Had a bite of duck
And some mac salad
I also had a Jamba juice

King managed to throw up mist the salad and duck but not the Jamba juice. So I'm fluxed a extra three pounds.

Right now before bed I'm drinking a lax tea and a water weight tea

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Water weight

Well I had mentioned in my last post that I was going to go on a light fast to continue the dropping of my weight and cleanse me as well.

We'll sometimes I gotta remember that drinking to much liquids can mean a water retaining. And boy do I feel like a balloon of water this morning. I did not go to the bathroom enough to release all the water I put into my body so I'm definitely bloated this morning.

Two pounds fluxed but I'm positive that it will be easily released today.

Most likely my morning coffee will do the trick and sense I'll be running more earrends today hopefully my body will release it thru All the activities.

On my agenda for today.

Putting gas in my car and meeting a couple good friends for a late lunch.

Ever sense I've gained a lot of weight I did notice that I had become more social. And with social came more eating people forcing you to eat the stress of embarrassing them if I didn't. Then not making it home in time to purge everything I had eaten. It's really have become a challenge for me to lose weight. My body has gotten so used to me eating it just wants to hold on to all the fat that it can. 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Now that it's over

Now that my diet is over I do want to continue losing the weight fast and efficiently.
Today I'll cleanse on a detox system (fast)

Drinking mostly lemon water dieters no carbs no sugars except for natural sugars like fruit.  Or no carb foods.

I'm really trying to get myself back to weight for my birthday. My 21st birthday that is and it's been a challenge.

But you mind is strong and if you put your mind to it you can do anything I've lost weight before I can do it again

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Sacred Heart diet recipe

2 cans stewed tomatoes
2 cans green beans
1 bundle celery
1 bag of carrots
2 green peppers
I large can fat free beef broth
1 packet of Liptons chicken noodle soup

All fresh veggies should be diced and small. Season with salt pepper

This is the recipe that I used. I also drank a dieters tea or a laxative tea every night to ensure the maximum results

10lbs down

Well today is my 7th day on the sacred heart diet and I completed in losing 10 pounds. I'll continue this diet every other week. I'm hoping to drop down most if not everything I gained so hopefully 20lbs

Monday, April 28, 2014

Sacred Heart diet day#1

Off to start another dieting plan to help me lose the weight I have gained. I did start a cleanse for two days to help me kick start this diet and on my cleanse I have dropped 5 pounds.

I'm hoping to lose the additional and more with trying out this sacred heart diet.

So today is day one only fruits and the sacred heart soup for today. A 7 day challenge it is!

I will post the recipe later on this week if I remember to your you can simply go on Google and Google it yourself.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Trying to keep healthy

It's been rough again. I had gotten bad sick these past few days. The doctors couldn't figure what it was. At first it felt like a bad flu merged with strep throat. It was horrible. I couldn't keep down liquids well so I started eating breads more.
I do not eat carbs they stick to me faster then flies on shit. I knew it wasn't going to end well.

8 days of sickness passed. With eating a muffin in the morning with my medication. And maybe a jelly sandwich at lunch or dinner. When I finally had the strength to move from my bed and weigh myself  I weighed in 12lbs heavier

I was devastated. It's become more then a struggle to just lose three pounds but to add on another 12 is like the world coming to a horrible end.

I started a mild fast. Drinking salt water in the morning lemon water and tea thru out the day. Allowing myself some pieces of salami no carbs and laxative tea.
I'm hoping that it's all mostly water weight. But not everybody is lucky like that.
I was able to drop two pounds yesterday. And I'm determined to drop another two by tomorrow.

One of my good friends who's in the military decided to give me a recipe. It's a soup recipe and if you fallow the meal plan to it your supposed to lose 10lbs or more in a week. He tried it to make weight for the military weigh in.

I'm hoping that everything goes well. I'm now officially at one of the highest weights I've been in in about four years.