Best friend died

I was doing well I lost almost everything I gained...

Then yesterday I get a text my friend maybe even lover died in the hospital. I knew he was there I knew I had a bad gut feeling. And I knew I should have begged him not to go back.

He stepped on a landmind some place far far away....far far away from here.

I blame myself and everyone at the same time.

I did awful yesterday drowning myself in alcohal and food locking myself in my room.

I've never really greived this hard before. But I guess it proves how much he meant to me.

What bothers me the most is that he saved lives hes a hero and no one will ever know about him.

He will be buried at Arlington and was awarded the medal of honor....he was my best friend. And I loved him more then a boyfriend or husband. I never got the chance to really show it....or tell it..........

I guess that's what happens to those of us who are scared to really say whats deep in your heart....

And it was so awful Valentines was his birthday. And two days before he died he said finally that he'd come home to me....come home to me....

I loved him so.