Well I was doing so great until. My dad said something like this:"I've been noticing your loosing weight. Your not doing anything that will put you back in the hospital are you?"It was just the way he said it and the sound in his voice.And out of pure reaction and fear I grabbed some chocolates and started eating. My Ana demons freaking out. But I just knew he knows something is up.Then he started offering me chips. I didn't want to refuse. (But I sure wanted to cry right in frontcof him. While he watched me eat and offered more)I was about to escape and purge when he said:"Uh-uh stay in the living room."Me:"I need to get my phone charger." Excuse"No"So right about there I'm texting everyone and freaking out.But I couldn't believe it, it was like he knew I was going to purge and was stopping me by trapping me with time. (Smart bastard)So I freaked out downed three diet pills and started a massive cardio work out.I started at 5:42p.m. non stop jumping jacks sqwats crunches stretches running in place push ups leg lifts and ended at about 8:26 p.m.It was a great work out. I drank water and watered down juice for the sugars.I just hope I'm still at my low weight tomorrow. I'm dead scared.But I maybe a sacrifice today will keep the eyes off me tomorrow and for days to come.I'm on the ultimate fast again tomorrow.Wish me luck! Pro-ana.Stay strong. Move on!!!!SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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1 cup of orange juice is 120 Cal's.Starbucks mocha frappuccino (in the bottle) 180 Cal's. Per bottle.Dove milk chocolate serving size 5 calories 200.SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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I can't believe I'm still at my low weight. Here's a pic of me I hope it doesn't come out aqwishedSoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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...a odd question that much I am sure of but it is indeed a question that has been bothering me now for months. I remember I use to pray all the time. But recently I can honestly say I haven't had the stomach for it.(I prayed and prayed for someone I desperately loved...but my prayers weren't answered. And if they were it cost me the worst heart ache and shame anyone could ever go through)But still I wonder have I lost my faith? Or am I too different now to allow myself to just go to the old me?(Shy blushing old me? Who believed in fairy tales and romantic love stories? And that if I could be faithful so could others?)Nice people finish last. My prayers? Or are they just wishes?I don't pray to be things. I pray for others...but somehow I found myself to selfish of a person to even do that.The question is still here: have I lost my faith? Or do I just need a miracle to revive it again?SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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I'm sorry but I got to rant a little more about my failure! I really thought that I would be able to purge it up. I really did. Why did my body like digest all that food super fast because I sware its all in my intestine already. That's its been like Just a few hours ago. I dunno but I'm as mad as hell right now.I really thought I could purge it. Tomorrow is another day. Ultimate fast here I come.I really thought I would eat no evil. I lost. FmlSoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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So I failed. I thought it would be safe to eat and purge. But my body played a trick on me. I ate but wouldn't let me purge I was so upset started crying. The only reason why I ate was becuz I was certain I could purge it up. Now I've attempted at least 7 times none of which came up more then a bite.So I did 100 jumping jacks 25 sumo sqwats Calorie intake unknown. FAIL1 BURGER2 HANDFULLS OF CHIPS8 MACCADAMIA NUTS3 MINNI CHOCOLATE COVERED PRETZELSNEVER TRUST YOUR BODY! IT WILL DESEIVE YOU LIKE THE REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR. NOW WATCH YOUR FAT ASS GIGGLE FAILURE!!!!!SoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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Oh gosh I feel like buying a Patton to Starbucks just so I can open one closer to my house. BlahSoftyxScenexlovesxyou
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