I have someone that I really like coming over to stay with me for a few days. And I'm panicking about my weight. I'm thinking....liquid diet for the remainder of like two days
I know he can eat si I'm just like ehhhhh.
I need my will power back man v.v
Well tired and tired at this point had a little trip to one of the other islands this weekend. And got home late last night. It was nice lots of food. But nothing that I can't drop in a few days. Started my period as well so I feel a little extra crummy for sure. But hey it happens to the best of us.
So I did end up falling asleep around 3am last night yay! Good job me!
Today I wanted a little change so I'm dying my hair back to black. My hair is no longer long but short actually. With the entire bottom half shaves. I'll post a recent pic of me it has been years sense you all saw me. Of course I am dying my hair black right now so it won't be so currant
Had really a rotten day today. Woke up at 11a.m. and managed to stay in bed starring at my phone till almost 1 p.m.
I was freaking out inside really.
Crying for no reason. Texting horrible things to my guy friends things that made no sense to them. Maybe I was trying to pick a fight. Or pick there brains make them think.
Scared to weigh myself. Scared to do a lot of things. But Aventually I did roll out of bed. Aventually that is.
I have to work tomorrow.....well today that is later on in the day. It's a struggle it really is juggling three jobs but hours being cut back at all of them so once a busy work week is now begging for hours that I need.
Work has become a salvation for me a place to allow myself to be successful and not think of the demons I battle with on a day to day basis.
I don't like having hours to sit in my room and just think and be bored. I want to fill my time.
The house is pretty quiet....cats sleeping on the chair dad's fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. No one's up really non of my friends are awake.
Sucks being alone at this time. I wish I had someone to cuddle with and feel safe. And on restless humid nights like this we could talk and whisper about things. Damned night has me day dreaming. My mind won't quit of such fairytale bullshit.
Had really a rotten day today. Woke up at 11a.m. and managed to stay in bed starring at my phone till almost 1 p.m.
I was freaking out inside really.
Crying for no reason. Texting horrible things to my guy friends things that made no sense to them. Maybe I was trying to pick a fight. Or pick there brains make them think.
Scared to weigh myself. Scared to do a lot of things. But Aventually I did roll out of bed. Aventually that is.
I have to work tomorrow.....well today that is later on in the day. It's a struggle it really is juggling three jobs but hours being cut back at all of them so once a busy work week is now begging for hours that I need.
Work has become a salvation for me a place to allow myself to be successful and not think of the demons I battle with on a day to day basis.
I don't like having hours to sit in my room and just think and be bored. I want to fill my time.
The house is pretty quiet....cats sleeping on the chair dad's fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. No one's up really non of my friends are awake.
Sucks being alone at this time. I wish I had someone to cuddle with and feel safe. And on restless humid nights like this we could talk and whisper about things. Damned night has me day dreaming. My mind won't quit of such fairytale bullshit.
I can feel myself starting to roll back into a big obsession over my weight.
Weighing myself two three times in a row for sure that the number on the scale is wrong. It's broken......must be
My dammed demons.
I did eat a salad
Had a bite of duck
And some mac salad
I also had a Jamba juice
King managed to throw up mist the salad and duck but not the Jamba juice. So I'm fluxed a extra three pounds.
Right now before bed I'm drinking a lax tea and a water weight tea
